Fighting Entropy

There are a lot of things we just can't control. And it is this weight that sometimes crushes humans. We are fighting against the Universe. But I like the challenge. I think of it as a dance...or music. Call and response. In planning, I enjoy the problem solving. Strategy is fun...except when it is not. It can be stressful and make you feel alone. I sometimes feel like all of the atoms in my body are trying to escape into the Universe at once. Maybe they are. And it is my job to stop them.

I am trying to think about creative risk. Maybe it is subject matter. Maybe it is tweaking one, seemingly insignificant piece of the puzzle. That one shift in perspective can make all the difference.

Puzzle at Lincoln Carnegie Library 

Maybe risk for me is just starting...again. Maybe it is getting back into an acting class. Muscle memory. Maybe it is just stepping back into the gym after a long weekend of chips and hot dogs.

Maybe shame stops us.

Risk can be so many things. In my day-to-day life, risk is controlled by planning. You don't have to worry about sand traps if you don't hit them. And we do learn by making mistakes, but there are some risks that are too big to take just for a lesson. That is where mentors can help.

Creatively, risk is being exposed. I have all the support systems in place. Accepting them is the hard part. I try to overcome risk by getting past all of the excuses: "I don't have time, I am too tired, I don't have the bandwidth..." Often, this is true. But sometimes it is not.

I do remember when I was performing, that not be nervous before a show made me nervous. If that makes sense? I think a little fear keeps our senses heightened and ready for anything. Complacency is the worst. Overcoming risk is overcoming the status quo.